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Respectful Parenting: Nurturing the Future, One Thoughtful Step at a Time

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Respectful parenting is not always easy. It takes a huge amount of self-reflection, self-control and patience. My friends often comment on how “chilled out” I am around my kids, how easy I make it look. Imagine watching a video of a sports athlete (snowboarder, gymnast, figure skater). They always make it look so easy. But what we see is the end result of months, years of training, practice, failures, trials and perseverance. The same goes for parenting. From the outside you see the end result, but you don’t see the huge amount of inner work, learning and un-learning of certain patterns & behaviours that goes on every day.

It can feel lonely, as not many people around you understand or support this style of parenting. It sometimes seems like a battle against our own instincts, against what society and mainstream parenting ideologies are telling us to do.

It is not easy, but it does make our life with children much easier. When we change our perspective, when we can look at situations with a clear head, we are able to deal with them in a more productive way. There are no shortcuts in respectful parenting, it’s always about the big picture. About what kind of person you want your child to grow into. About what kind of relationship you want to have with them when they are adolescents, teenagers, adults.

What’s does it look like?

  1. Accepting children for who they are, unconditionally & without judgement.
  2. An awareness of how children develop, the limitations of their developing brains, expectations are adjusted to account for this.
  3. Understanding that behaviour is a form of communication and it reflects how the child is feeling.
  4. We remember that we are the main role models for how we want our children to grow up. What they experience, what we show them is how they will think the world is.
  5. An awareness of our own emotions and well-being. When things go t*ts up, we first look to ourselves remembering that we can only control our own actions, we cannot control anyone else.

It does require some effort on our part, but it’s so worth it. Aren’t our children worth everything?

Is there anything else you would add to this? Let me know in the comments.

Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash

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